What phrases reveal experiences of childhood abandonment, according to psychology
The language we use every day not only communicates what we think: it is also a mirror of what we feel and, above all, of what we have experienced. According to psychology, our words can reflect experiences of abandonment, rejection, or emotional deficiencies. The way we express ourselves can be a clear clue about wounds that we have not yet healed.
### Language as an Emotional Trace
The language is much more than a tool to interact with others: it is a bridge between our inner world and external reality. The words we choose, the silences we leave, and the phrases we repeat without thinking enclose part of our emotional history.
According to psychologist and psychoanalyst Ana María Sepe, many expressions we use daily have deep roots in our past, especially in experiences that occurred during childhood. These words, far from being random, are part of a defense mechanism against painful experiences.
### Phrases that Betray a Wounded Past
Phrases like “sorry for bothering,” “I’m sure I’m exaggerating,” or “I should have known” may seem harmless or even polite, but according to Sepe, they hide a background of guilt, self-demand, or fear of rejection.
These expressions are ingrained in our unconscious from a very young age, when we do not yet have the tools to understand or process what we experience. In adulthood, they emerge automatically, as reflections of an identity marked by the need to be accepted or not be a burden.
Ana María Sepe explains that “changing your language also means healing a part of yourself.” It is not about erasing our history, but recognizing it and allowing ourselves to speak from a more authentic place, less conditioned by pain.
### Psychoanalysis and Language: a Path to Healing
The psychoanalytic approach, from Freud to Lacan, argues that language is the main way in which the unconscious manifests itself. Through our words, we express not only conscious thoughts but also what lies deepest in our psyche.
Ana María Sepe takes up this view and proposes an introspective look at language: paying attention to what we say and how we say it can be the first step to understanding the origin of certain emotional patterns.
This process of observing and analyzing language is not about judging ourselves, but about understanding ourselves. By identifying phrases that come from old wounds, we can begin to reformulate them and speak from a new perspective: one that is more free, more compassionate, and more coherent with who we really are.
### Reclaiming Our Authentic Voice
Reviewing the words we use does not mean denying ourselves or forcing ourselves to change. It is, rather, an opportunity to reconnect with that version of ourselves that did not have to adapt to be loved.
Sepe suggests that by being aware of how past wounds affect our way of speaking, we are closer to healing. Recognizing that many of our phrases were ways to emotionally survive allows us to be grateful for them, but also to leave them behind if we no longer need them.
Thus, resignifying language can become a therapeutic act, a way to repair our history and reclaim the voice that we silenced to fit in. It is a process of rediscovery that, although challenging, brings us closer to a more fulfilling and authentic life.
