Reconnecting with an old friend might just be the best thing for your health (and you still don’t realize it)
Reconnecting with old friends is more than just a trip down memory lane: it’s an investment in your well-being. But reaching out can be daunting, leading to doubt, anxiety, and even shame. Psychology sheds light on what holds us back, why it’s worth taking the plunge, and how to do it without fear of rejection. Because reigniting old friendships can be simpler — and more therapeutic — than you think.
A common desire rarely acted upon
Over 90% of people express a desire to reconnect with old friends they’ve lost touch with. However, only a minority muster the courage to send that initial message. A study conducted by Simon Fraser and Sussex universities, involving over 2,500 participants, revealed that when given the opportunity to reach out, only about a third actually did. Surprisingly, contacting an old friend was deemed as uncomfortable as conversing with a stranger… or even picking up trash. Fear and discomfort often overshadow the longing to reconnect.
The key is to start with something easy
One effective strategy identified by psychologists is “social warming up.” Those who first reached out to current friends found it easier to contact old friends later on. Research suggests that with time, old friends can begin to feel like strangers due to psychological distance. However, if the previous bond was strong, experts assure that reigniting the friendship can be a much smoother and fulfilling experience than anticipated. During the pandemic, many rediscovered these dormant connections, showing that the spark still remains, waiting to be reignited.
Social media helps, but it’s not enough
While social networks can facilitate initial contact, reviving a friendship requires more personal interaction. A call, video call, or face-to-face meeting can rekindle the deep connection. Psychologist Lara Aknin suggests a helpful trick: practice reaching out to current friends, but change the recipient’s name to that of someone from the past… and hit send. Despite the fear of rejection, research indicates that most people value and are moved by unexpected gestures from loved ones. Breaking the silence can not only brighten their day but also enhance your own well-being. Who knows, it might even revive a connection you thought was lost forever.
